Quotes from Desperately Seeking Heather

Scott: Sorry, I should have knocked.
Heather: One minute later and I would've had to charge you admission.
Scott: Good thing about that woman is, hate to see her leave, love to watch her go.

Heather: You know what they say about idle hands.
Jack: Just keep them in your pockets, we'll all be better off.

Heather: Your eggs are probably getting cold.
Chandler: My eggs are perfectly fine, thank you very much.

Heather: Why, Chandler, I do believe you're staring at my ass. Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the horniest of them all?

Faith: Will you please buckle your seat belt?
Ethan: I have a very bad feeling about this.

Peter to Chandler: Would that be lust in your eyes or have you just developed an interest for the latest in Paris fashions?

Peter: Edward, that, uh, martini?
Edward: Of course, Mr. Peter. Two olives and a twist, sir.
Peter: Yes. After all, a man needs his vegetables.

Brad: Don't worry, I'll have her back by eleven.
Peter: Funny, he didn't say am or pm. I wouldn't wait up.

Jenny: I am going back to rehab! Right after I have one more beer... and a shot of bourbon.

Heather: I am, uh, going to say goodnight now.
Brad: Do you have to?
Heater: Well, if I don't I'll have to tell you that I'm pregnant, that I'm still mourning the loss of my husband, that there's a jealous slightly psycho son just inside spying on us who given half the chance might very well come out here and dismember you. So kiss me one more time, and that'll be the end of that.

Back to episode info